One of the most pervasive superstitions in the world of knitting is the “Boyfriend Sweater Curse.” Countless knitters will tell you that the Sweater Curse is no joke. Just mention it to any knitting circle, and stories of romance gone awry will abound.
What is the “Boyfriend’s Sweater Curse?”
Most knitters are dreadfully aware of the Boyfriend’s Sweater Curse. This plight occurs when a knitter gives a hand-knit sweater to a significant other, and then the stated other immediately breaks up with the knitter. Sometimes, the relationship ends before the sweater is even completed.
A poll recently conducted by the online magazine Knitter’s Review indicated that 15% of active knitters say they have experienced the sweater curse firsthand. A whopping 41% consider it a serious possibility.
Has this Phenomenon Been Formally Studied?
The Sweater Curse is likely not governed by paranormal forces, but rather is explainable as a group of phenomenon. Although no controlled studies have evaluated it, several plausible real-world reasons exist.
Plausible Reasons for the Curse’s Occurrence
Confirmation Bias and the Sweater Curse
Confirmation bias occurs when a person searches for and interprets information in a way that confirms preconceptions, and avoids information that contradicts prior beliefs. Making a hand-knit gift is such an emotional experience that it’s almost impossible not to involve confirmation bias.
Knitters may remember breakups more clearly after giving away a hand-knit sweater. Sweaters typically cost more than $150USD to make and take much time and effort; an average sweater has over 100,000 stitches put into it. Because of this, a knitter may remember a breakup with someone whom she has knit a sweater for much more vividly than a breakup that never involved knitting.
Relationship Odometer
Both giving and receiving a noteworthy gift such as a hand-knit sweater may cause either the giver or receiver to analyze the commitment in a more serious light. There is a certain level of commitment that goes along with spending hours, effort and money on a gift; that level appears to be quite high. If the receiver is afraid of the level of commitment suggested by the gift, he may bolt.
Recipients of gifts like hand-made sweaters are forced to evaluate their relationships when the might not otherwise do so. This may highlight areas of incompatibility and expectations with which they are unwilling to live.
Finally, there exists the possibility that the knitter incorrectly imagines the relationship to be more than it is. The significant other may care for the knitter, but not as much as the knitter would like. The knitter may be a bit disillusioned when the gift is given and the recipient doesn’t appreciate it as much as is expected.
Bad Timing
Knitting a sweater takes a long time. The relationship may simply die of a natural cause during the time it was being knit.
Aversion
Some people feel uncomfortable wearing anything hand-knit. People of this ilk may fear their friends’ ridicule and taunts of, “Ooooo, look how domestic we’ve become!” These people would never wear hand-knits, especially if the item is unattractive; if the whole thing becomes too complicated for them, they may run off.
Search and Rescue
In this scenario, the knitter senses that the relationship is about to end and knits a sweater as a dramatic gesture to save it. Most often, this is too little, too late; in other words, knitting a sweater can’t knit together a relationship.
No Excuses
Knitters want out of relationships, too; it’s not always the other way around. Oftentimes, excusing is a subconscious action where the yarner will knit a sweater poorly on purpose to chase the other person away.
Attention All Knitters
Knitters become rather attached to their work, but there can always be too much of a good thing. Rarely, a knitter loves her work too much and this may cause her to pester her significant other about the sweater under discussion. When the sweater becomes overly important, the intended receiver may encourage the end of the relationship.
Another breed of knitter may love to knit too much (if this is indeed possible!) and spends too much time knitting. Needless to say, it is vital to attentively work on relationships as well as crafting.
Guilty as Charged
Everyone is guilty of something at sometime; of course, knitters are no exception. The tricky part here is that subconscious guilt can make yarners do silly things, just like any other folk. A knitter feeling especially guilty of something may try to clean up her conscious by making and giving something to the wronged party. Obviously, such a relationship has problems that are way too big to be fixed by a sweater.
Avoid the Curse
Yarners wanting to make gifts for their boy/girlfriends are safest starting with smaller items like hats or gloves. These items are not very threatening to the recipient, nor are they as disappointing.
If a knitter’s heart is set on making a sweater, it’s a good idea to involve the significant other in designing the sweater. The recipient will feel much more comfortable with a gift that he helped design. Sharing the process also provides an excellent opportunity to gauge whether or not the gift is a good idea.
Also very important to remember is to make items that have proven popular with the target audience. Most men, for example, like sweaters that have certain characteristics. And although there is (probably) no such thing as the Sweater Curse, why tempt fate? The curse can be avoided, so do so!
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